The following is a letter to my favorite video game publisher in the world: SEGA. I’ve been a fan of their games since I was a kid, and I even have a Sonic the Hedgehog tattoo over my heart to signify my love for both Sonic and SEGA. Now I’m extending an offer to them they couldn’t possibly refuse.
My name’s li’l Kristen Kail, I’m a 21 year old boy from New Jersey who loves your games to pieces. I’m writing you today to offer you something you can’t simply buy with money. I’m offering you my body. I’m willing to get an all-over back tattoo matching that of Kazuma Kiryu from the Yakuza series to help you promote Yakuza: Dead Souls. See, just by posting this as an open letter on my website I’ve probably made a few more people aware of the game’s existence in the first place, just imagine how many more copies you’ll sell by tatting me up to look like the series’ main protagonist.
I can even have my boys at Blue Core Studios film the entire process for you to use in advertisements and/or as a viral web campaign. All you guys need to do is front the cash for the tattoo, and give me a copy of Yakuza: Dead Souls early. Like a week early is fine, I’m not too greedy.
By the way, I am 100% serious if you are. You’ve seen what a little open air internet dealing has done for Double Fine in the past weeks, why don’t you jump on that bandwagon too?
I already have one SEGA property tattooed on my body for life, what’s another gonna hurt? Come on, SEGA, you got the goods, but do you have the guts?
HIT ME UP. STREETS!
-Kristen KailSource: dudegurlz.com